I wanted to laugh heartily. I longed to be happy.
When I saw a couple holding hands and walking along the beach, I wanted to smile. Watching children play and sing rhymes loudly, I felt the urge to join them.
But I couldn't.
I had a friend who tried to make me happy. I had a family who stood by me. I had my child, waiting to see my smile.
Everyone who loved me did their best to bring me joy.
But I couldn't meet their expectations. I felt like I had failed miserably. Though I appeared calm on the outside, I was restless inside. My heart was in turmoil, and my mind was in chaos.
Medication didn't help. The assurances from my loved ones, promising they'd always be there for me, couldn't bring me relief. Tears became my constant companion, and I found solace in isolation.
This is how I lived for almost a decade.
Now, I am alright. I have come out of that darkness, and restarted my life. However, that decade left me with a beautiful scar - a mark I'll carry for life. I call it beautiful because it has made me kinder, more compassionate, and empathetic. It has made me non-judgmental.
I receive several messages from readers. They open up to me and share their grief. They ask for advice. I feel a deep responsiblity to guide them however I can.
I aspire to alleviate the pain in people's lives. And this wish keeps me motivated.
Thank you for reading.
Stay Calm!
Anshu.
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