Yes and I am the living example of it. Actually not living, but something like a living dead body.
Honestly, it’s very hard to put into words. Somedays it’s really really hard to just move. It’s hard to get out of bed. It’s even hard to walk to the fridge to get something to eat. It’s like being paralysed but an invisible paralysis.
You no longer like to have your favourite food.
You aren’t excited to watch your favourite movie.
You are no longer excited about holidays.
All the fun things about life seems to be no longer exciting or worth it. Nothing can really make you happy. YYou try to be happy but you just can’t. You try hard but you fail at it again and again. You have spontaneous episodes of crying. You lose control upon yourself. You are frustrated and angry without any reasonm Every minute feels like a burden. You somehow just want the day to pass.
I have a very supportive family. But at times, not even this helps. You feel lonely in a room full of people. I might be sitting with my friends talking funny things but still might not be really happy and might be laughing just for the sake of it. The teacher might be taking lectures in the class but tears might be rolling down my cheeks all of a sudden, but I gracefully hide them, so that they don’t tag me “overdramatic”. It’s even tougher when you belong to a profession where you are surrounded by snakes, where they celebrate your downfall and are envious when you succeed.
Being busy helps to some extent. But at the end of the day, you still feel lonely. You just want to sleep off anyhow so that the day ends. But you can’t sleep even. You pass n number of sleepless nights. Sleep seems to be a luxury which you can’t afford. Antidepressants and sleeping pills helps to some extent but they make you feel weak, extremely weak. You live days like a living dead body. You don’t know what to do. You can’t find any reason to be alive.
Anyway it’s a phase. This too shall pass. Hanging on. Trusting God. Things will get better with time ig.
~ABANTIKA
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