How is it possible to control your tongue in anger?

How is it possible to control your tongue in anger?

Anger is a negative emotion which almost each individual faces & want to control it.

So, what is anger?

A - aggressive feelings towards others. Although we display anger on others but it affects us more.

N- no, a strict no to project this emotion ( anger), don't display it, don't show it as it makes you look fool & stupid.

G - grievances, anger brings misery & sorrows to you. In anger, whatever you do & speak can bring you miseries. For eg : getting angry on boss can make you jobless.

Angry with girlfriend can end up your relationship. Angry with wife can make to sleep hungry, she won't cook for you for your this stupid gesture.

E - ends relationships & brings enemity. Anger is one of the main cause of breakup & ruining relationships.

R - regret. You always regret after expressing anger. Haven't you notice, that you really think after all mess is done, you should not have done it.

So, how to control or manage it.

• The first & best one is to leave the place. Escape to some place which relaxes you like park, swimming pools, sports Complex, cafeteria or go for shopping.
• If you can't go out, do deep breathing exercises which relaxes your anger vibes.
• Backward counting or reverse counting csn divert your angry mind.

• 4.Listen calm & relaxing music.
• 5.Close your & remember your sweet & loving memories which overrides your angry emotions.
• Develop a habit of reverse psychology like when you feel angry, you laugh. Like BOHMEIN IRANI did in movei, “ Munna bhai MBBS. It's really helpful.
• Divert your mind by talking to someone you like & follow.
• Keep check on your thoughts & reframing them. Assess your thoughts before you feel emotions & express.
• A brisk walk, jogging, walk on green grass, exercise, yoga & meditation are other therapies to manage anger.

As anger is just one word away from danger, don't let it happen.

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The Buddha said: you suffer because you are attached. Let’s say someone cuts a person off in traffic. The person who got cut off will feel offended, they will take this action personally. Their sense of self, their identity has been jeopardized and so they feel offended and feel angry. They then carry this anger with them. They ruminate about it, they think about it and add more fuel to the fire. They become aggressive and start to behave irrationally. In an extreme case they may even get out of the car and start yelling at the other person and try to fight them.

Why can’t this person control their anger? The very question assumes that there is the emotion of anger and there is a person experiencing the anger. The person is not the anger, but the vessel that contains the emotion of anger. The person who cannot control their anger is fully identified with their emotion. It has taken control over their mind and become who they are. You cannot control your anger if you believe it is fully real, if you feel you are justified in feeling anger. Anger arises from the ego. When the egoic identity is threatened it will react. The person is not the ego, however. The ego is just a component of the person. Someone who cannot control their anger is fully identified with the emotion of anger. They are consumed by it and do not see the situation clearly. Someone who see things correctly, who has self-control, and is aware of their emotions, will not be over taken by anger.

If you want to control your anger you must first become aware of the emotion of anger. That is to say, you must remind yourself you are not the anger, you are just feeling anger. It is not who you are, just a part of you. You don’t have to react with anger. You don’t have to react at all. Just be aware. Don’t be so attached to your emotions or identity.

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