People who live alone/ spend a lot of time alone, how did you learn to be happy with and by yourself?

NEGI RK Monday, November 16, 2020

People who live alone/ spend a lot of time alone, how did you learn to be happy with and by yourself?

I can only answer for myself because we are all different and handle situations differently.

I live alone and spend most of my time alone. This is not by choice. My husband died just two weeks after my two German Shepherds died within five days of each other. I have no family so I lost everything.

Obviously I was not happy, especially since most of the people who had been in my life dropped me like a hot stone once my husband died. How have I come to terms with my new situation? I got counselling while my husband was dying and after he died and that was tremendously helpful.

Most importantly I refuse to be lonely. Yes I am very isolated, yes I spend most of my life without human company but I am not lonely and that is because I accept the situation completely so don’t waste time and emotional energy wishing it were different. I am alone and will remain so for the rest of my life. That is a fact and it is not value loaded.

I got a new dog shortly after my husband died and he is a great source of comfort and company. Update @ 2020 and now I have his younger brother too. I love them both to pieces. They force me to get up, get ready and go out. They force me to have a regular routine and I am grateful for that. Through them I have human contact with other dog walkers with whom I chat, albeit briefly and on a superficial, dog related level.

I have friends, very few friends as it happens because we elderly widows are not the kind of people most people want to hang out with. I spend as much time with them as they are able to give which is not very much but is very much valued. I am a trustee on the board of a local charity / social enterprise and I enjoy the mental stimulation of that.

I have cyber friends around the world with whom I communicate regularly. I have interesting and absorbing creative hobbies which engage me and occupy my time. I maintain a relationship with my male mother in law (my husband’s dad was Gay) who I now count as a trusted friend.

I can’t say that I am thrilled at my solitary situation but I am content with it. I am fortunate in being a very positive person and I have hung on to my positivity even through the darkest times. Never mind the glass being half full. If you have an empty glass you have the potential for Champagne!